Ah, Eric Byrnes—the man, the myth, the mullet
Ah, Eric Byrnes—the man, the myth, the mullet. Back in the day, I had the distinct pleasure of coaching young Eric in Senior League Baseball at Ford Field in Portola Valley, CA. Even then, his hairstyle suggested he was either smuggling a squirrel atop his head or auditioning for a 1980s hair metal band.
Fast forward to his college years at UCLA, where Eric didn’t just play baseball; he rewrote the record books. He became the Bruins’ all-time leader in hits (326), at-bats (984), runs scored (235), and doubles (75). His .331 batting average and 48 home runs made him one of the most successful hitters in Pac-10 history.
Transitioning to the majors, Eric graced teams like the Oakland Athletics, Colorado Rockies, Baltimore Orioles, Arizona Diamondbacks, and Seattle Mariners. Over 11 seasons, he achieved a .258 batting average, 109 home runs, and 396 RBIs. Notably, on June 29, 2003, he hit for the cycle against the San Francisco Giants.
Defensively, Eric was no slouch. He was ranked among the top three best defensive left fielders in John Dewan’s Fielding Bible. His speed and hustle made him a standout in the outfield, earning him a spot on the All-Time Oakland A’s 50th Season team in 2018.
Off the field, Eric’s life reads like a Hollywood script. He married Miss California, because why not aim high? He also took up ultra-marathons, including the grueling Western States Endurance Run—a 100-mile trek from Squaw Valley to Auburn. It was during one of these runs, in brutal 100+ degree heat, that Eric started hallucinating. He swore a mountain lion was coming after him—and, for some reason, an orangutan was hanging out in a tree watching it all unfold. At this point, even the wildlife was questioning his life choices.
Not one to rest, Eric ventured into broadcasting, becoming an analyst for MLB Network until 2021. His energetic personality made him a natural in front of the camera, translating his on-field passion to the screen.
As if that wasn’t enough, Eric set a Guinness World Record by playing 420 holes of golf in a 24-hour period. Yes, you read that correctly—420 holes. Apparently, running 100 miles wasn’t exhausting enough; he needed to swing a club hundreds of times to feel truly alive.
These days, Eric channels his energy into coaching the Savannah Bananas. Tickets to their games vanish within minutes—a testament to his enduring appeal. A close family friend of mine managed to snag tickets for his son’s birthday. I thought, “Why not reach out to Eric for a special shoutout or a post-game meet-and-greet?”
And what did I receive in return? Absolutely nothing. Not a peep. The silence was so profound, you could hear the crickets chirping at the ballpark. Eric Byrnes, the once scrappy outfielder, had ghosted me.
It’s amusing how fame can cloud memories. But as they say, old coaches never forget. Next time our paths cross, I might have some kind words for him at home plate.
